My Life as Carrie

Many, many years ago, my mom and I tried to start a writing club with a few of her friends. We would select a topic and everyone would write a short story or poem or whatever they fancied. We would meet once a month and read aloud to each other and critic. This happened for one month. I am not really sure where it all fell apart.
Writing was always one of my favorite things to do growing up. Once in elementary school we had a writing symposium and took some seminars over the course of two days. At the end we had an assembly. One of the local newscasters MC'ed the final assembly. He had chosen one submission to read aloud to the entire school. It was mine. It was such a great feeling. Then, in a composition class at community college, my professor asked if he could read my paper aloud. He did and he had turned my conclusion into a transparency that he used to show the rest of the class just how it was supposed to be done. Again, it was a great feeling. Both events were slightly embarrassing, but I was proud of myself nonetheless.
The story I wrote for the writing club was about the day my father passed away and all the things that took place that day, physical and emotional. Everyone (all three of them) really liked it. It got me thinking about an idea: to write a collection of short stories about all the wacky things that have happened to me in my life. Some funny, some tragic, some run-of-the-mill. I even created a list of ideas, but never even started.
Again, I find myself contemplating this idea. Don't get me wrong, I am not expecting to get published or anything. Just a way to therapeutically get my creative juices flowing and maybe share them with a few folks. We'll see if I can stick with it this time.

Cinema Sin

With The Oscars fast approaching, I have seen quite a few great movies this month. I really enjoy a good movie. I like a broad spectrum of genres. But, I'll be honest, I have some guilty pleasures, too. For some reason I got the song "Feed Me Seymour" from "Little Shop of Horrors" stuck in my head today. (Most likely due to my first post of the day where all I could think about was stuffing my pie hole. BTW, I had spinach lasagna!) This got me thinking about all the movies I LOVED as a kid. You know the ones you could watch over, and over, and over without getting sick of them. The ones you had almost every line memorized. Anyway, here are some of my all time favs. I would love to hear which make you nostalgic.

"Little Shop of Horrors" (as previously mentioned)
"Adventures in Babysitting"
"Teen Witch" ("I'm hot and you're not....)
"The Breakfast Club"
"Coming to America"
"An Officer and a Gentleman"
"Big"
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off"
"Dream a Little Dream"
"Can't Buy Me Love"
"Beetlejuice"

Man, I could go on and on.

Feeling the Pang

Is it "pang"? Hunger pang. Hmm. Anyway, I am hungry. I had a yogurt for breakfast with my coffee and that filled me up for about 20 minutes. I am waiting on a coworker to finish up so we can get outta here for a bit and feed our faces. I made a mistake and ate a butterscotch candy. While delicious, it just made me more hungry. Now for the last hour all I have been thinking about is food.
When I was a teenager and in my early twenties, I could go until 2 or 3 in the afternoon without even thinking about food. Easily. Most of the time I would eat once a day with maybe a little snack if it was presented. When did I get so hungry? No wonder I was able to stay thin back then when I consumed maybe 1,000 calories a day. (Okay, most days I could add another 400 or 500 for beer consumption.) I just don't think I could do that now. I would feel faint by 2 PM with no food. I would be cranky.
So, I guess the question is..........................skinny, bitchy, and nauseated.....or......fat and happy?
I think I am feeling Gatti's buffet.

Burr Baseball Burden

I am nervous. I have a bit of anxiety about the upcoming baseball season. This will be Dylan's first year to play. We signed him up for coach pitch. The team is six and seven year-old boys. I have a feeling most of them have played tee-ball since they were three and are already used to the routine. I worry that his sensitivity will get the best of him. But mostly I fear he won't live up to his birthright potential.
Jason and his brothers were all very good baseball players. They all played up to the junior college level. They all won countless trophies. My father-in-law was a good player and a distingished coach. He started the Little League in Tulsa and coached a team that went to the Little League World Series. Okay, that is amazing!
Dylan has always been physically coordinated. Lots of people are amazed at his flexibility, natural talent and speed. I know I should not worry, but I do. What if he feels the pressure? And worst of all, what if he doesn't like it?

100 Days and counting

I am sure some of you saw this post and thought, "It is about damn time."

I know, I am a horrible blogger!!! I am sorry!!! Okay, so maybe there are only about 4 people in this world that read and care at all what I have to say, but you are 4 of my favorite people and I hate to disappoint.

Today is Dylan's 100th Day of Kindergarten. They are planning a special day. Not sure what all it entails, but I know there is a homemade hat involved. I am so thrilled he loves his school and teacher so much and that he is (usually) excited to get there and see what each new day has in store. Oh, and he is learning tons! It is amazing to listen to him talk about things they are studying. He has already asked me questions I can't answer. Some because I really don't know and never knew and some because I have forgotten over the past 20 years. I am looking forward to re-learning with him. I hope he continues to enjoy school even after he realizes he has about 3,000 more days.......................

Since it has been since October that I have written, I'll quickly recap some of the things that have been happening these past few months.

Got completely out of credit card debt, Jason turned 36, still working at the same jobs (and for the most part liking them), in-laws moved to Dallas, had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Christmas (both at our house), Dylan lost two teeth, I turned 32, signed Dylan up for coach pitch baseball for the Spring, Sadie got her first ever real bath at a groomer, we survived another football season with no fights, and last but certainly not least, I grew to love my family even more than I did a year ago.

It has been a wonderful few months and it is going to be a great year.

Can I keep it up?

Six years.

I am not talking about motherhood. These last six years of being Dylan's mom have definitely been the best years of my life and I can't wait to continue that job for the next 50+.

What I am talking about is work. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my job or anything. I am just bored with doing the same thing day in and day out. The government tries to make it interesting by coming up with new laws all the time, but that mostly just drives away my business or creates headaches. I don't need a challenge, I am not an overly ambitious person. I want to be a good mother and wife and daughter and friend. But, since I must work, it would be nice to at least be entertained, if not (dare I say it) happy.

I really enjoy a lot of the people I work with and my bosses treat me very well. Those are great qualities in a job and don't hear me saying I am not appreciative of them. I know there are a lot of folks out there that would take my job in a second. And I am not giving it away. I am just ready for a little change. I am "supposed" to start branching out into the business development side of things. I am going to be out of the office more and schmooze and lunch and attempt to grow my little part of this company. I say "supposed" because I have been training for the past eight months NON STOP. I can't start this new venture until there is someone here that can handle my daily responsibilities. And I did not realize how vast they were until I started teaching others how to do them. No wonder I have a headache all the time, there is way too much useless info in this brain of mine. Details upon details on specific clients and employees and processing regulations that are just stored somewhere in there eating away all my creativity and desire.

Why is it that you can be really good at something and have so little interest in it? I want to read, and cook, and ponder life's questions, and drink wine, and play boardgames with Dylan, and council my friends through tough times, and laugh, and see good movies, and hear good music....................and not have to squeeze these things in between generating paychecks.

This is the longest I have ever worked at one place. I was a job-hopper. I could never understand why anyone would want to work somewhere more than a year or two. Can't you learn all you need to know in that time about that thing? Isn't it fun to try new things?

"Jack of all trades, master of none." And who cares? Am I ever going to be on Jeopardy and have all the categories be about payroll processing? NO. Wouldn't it be more fun to have a plethora of information on many topics, but never too much to bore someone? YES.

I am not asking to win the lottery, although it would be nice. I am just trying to decide if there is something else out there for me at this stage in my life that would make me more fulfilled, but still be responsible. Should I look? Should I leap? Should I stay here where it is comfortable and stable, albeit boring? Can I keep it up for five more years, ten, 35?

What is that? or Forget the Cat!

I have not been in much of a blogging mood lately. However, I really do not want to forget this little tidbit of Dylan hilarity.



The other day we were in the bathroom and there was a tampon on the counter. (Don't freak out it was in its wrapper people!) Dylan picked it up and asked, "Mommy, what is this?" I said, "It is a Mommy thing, don't worry about it." To which he replied, "Oh, is it for your bagina?"



I'll give you a second to stop laughing. And while I am waiting I will explain that he has just recently figured out that girls do not have penises and have a vagina instead. I have told him it is like a penis, but inside. That is enough of an explanation for now.



Unlike you, I could not bust out laughing at his question because I did not want to make this a bigger deal, so I said, "No." I really don't like to lie to him, but I just didn't think he needed the mental picture of me putting a foreign object (or any object for that matter) anywhere near my mommy parts.



He then asked, "Well what is it then? Do you wipe your butt with it?" I said, "Kinda, but it is really just for mommies and you don't need to worry about it." Finally he was satisfied and left well enough alone.



I was telling Jason this story and we were attempting to figure out how he would even think to ask if it was for my "bagina". I have decided that he thinks if something is a girl/woman thing then it must have something to do with boobs or a vagina and by looking at the tampon deduced boobs could be crossed off the list. At least mine anyway!



Will curiosity kill the Mommy?