I hate when you try to discuss something with a friend or your spouse and you can tell they are taking it like a lecture. I have decided in the last few months to not hold things in. I have lots of people tell me that they really admire my honesty and realized that I had been holding myself back a bit. I was glad to know that people respect that about me and thought I'd kick it back up to high gear.
I don't mean to sound judgmental or bitchy. I don't want to criticize or put anyone down. I do not think I am perfect or anywhere close to it. All I know is when I mask my thoughts or emotions for even a few days it ends up coming out in ways I do not admire in myself.
However, sometimes when I speak my mind (in a civilized way) I feel like the recipient feels scolded. That is not my intention. Sometimes I think it is because they feel guilty or unhappy with the behavior I called them out on and in those cases I don't blame myself. But the times when I think I may have hurt someone by being too rash or open about things, I do feel remorseful.
Any advice on how I can be more tactful without having to repress my feelings?
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7 years ago
2 comments:
I totally feel that honesty is the best approach. While it may come across as a lecture it's important to say what you think, especially if that person asks for your advice, they can't get mad at what you have to say. Maybe start out the conversation by saying, "I'm not trying to be mean or rude but......." Good luck!!
Well - yesterday I began a comment with "I don't know how to say this without making you mad" - and then said it. In this case that worked. I think that communication is so important that even when it causes a little upset, the reward outweighs the hurt...
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