Negativity (not a fun one again)

Sometimes I really annoy myself. I am so ready to believe that someone, anyone, is upset with me or disappointed in me or any negative feeling. It makes it hard to understand people correctly, especially those who don't communicate much/well. Of course it is probably a Catch 22 situation where those people are nervous to try to communicate with me because they are worried I will take everything the wrong way. Damn, I need therapy!! :-)



A lot of the time I really think it is just the old theory that men and women do not understand each other very well. (That is a general statement. I know lots of people do.) Or that I am so scared of being abandoned due to crap from my childhood that I alienate those closest to me. How knows? I do know I am so over feeling this way. I am going to try to make a huge effort to believe what people say and take it at face value. The over-analysis of every dialogue, written or verbal, is too much.



It gets me nowhere and only amplifies these negative feelings. God, life is hard and stressful. I know I have such a wonderful life compared to so many people in the world. I cannot wrap my brain around why I would try to break it down. I have to stop pushing people away by being too independent and untrusting.



I am sorry to anyone who has been affected by this behavior. Expect to see the new (or old, for those of you who have known me forever) Carrie surfacing soon. I promise it is an improvement and you will love her.